Death Proof

Death Proof is the latest installment from Quentin Tarentino, a writer/director who is often known simply by his last name, not because he asked for it, but because saying his full name too often is somehow considered a sign of disrespect in the movie making arena. Perhaps he is the inspiration for A.K. Rawling’s Wizarding World’s Fear of saying Voldemort’s name out loud. Tarentino’s new movie is a creative and original idea that completely comes out of left field to blindside you with movie going satisfaction. In a time of third and fourth chapters of tired sequels, this movie was down right fun. It’s about a killer played by Kurt Russell who uses the ultimate weapon in his work, his car. How cool!

The first part of the movie is classic Tarentino dialogue, so sharp and witty that you want to laugh and discuss each line with your friends the moment it ends, but that you don’t for fear of missing the artistry of the next. The kind that seems to go on forever, but when it’s over still leaves you wanting for more. When movies so often change camera angles fast enough to make me motion sick, its fun to see a movie that has entire scenes filmed on one roll in a single take.

The second part of the movie shows the killer in action. Although what follows were extraordinarily mind-boggling car chases, stunts, and wrecks, it doesn’t seem like you are watching a movie stunt, but actual collisions on the interstate on your way home from work. It was all very “edge of your seat”, “white knuckles” type of stuff. I’m still scratching my head wondering if it was all for real or just another computer comb over. Either way, it all seemed really real, which made it all the better. Reacting together with the audience to every crunch of steel, peel-out of rubber in loose gravel, dead end road, head-on collision, T-bone collision, and rev of the engine was uncontrollable. Having a girl lie on the hood of one of the cars for half of one of the chases trying not to get thrown off is icing on the cake. Sprinkle in some hilarious lines and pack it together like a snowball in winter and you’re left holding the greatest car chase in movie making history.

Bravo, he-who-must-not-be-named, bravo!

4 Stars

Spiderman 3

It’s hard to write a review on a movie you didn’t like, but here it goes. I watched Spiderman 3 about a week ago and I didn’t like it. In fact, I spent most of the movie watching the clock, waiting for the time to get out of there. “Blah”, was about the only thing I could think to write on my blog about the show, so I wasn’t going to write anything. However, the other night I was watching Inside the NBA and Charles Barkley bagged on the movie and cracked on America for spending $400 Million plus to go watch it. I laughed and then I agreed. (Charles Barkley is one of two people who can make me laugh every time I see them on TV. The other: David Letterman.) And then the other day my brother asked me if I had written any movie reviews on my blog lately. So, with the request of my bro and a similar opinion to my own from Charles Barkley, I thought I’d crack on Spiderman 3 so that I would have something to post.

I don’t think there was a specific thing that made this movie bad, but a combination of a lot of things. First, it’s hard to cram three villains into one movie and still be able to develop all of their characters. All three villains were great ideas, but they should have just picked one. They fell into the Batman trap following the first two movies of that series. Second, is it really believable to go through the whole show watching Peter and MJ have relationship problems and have all those problems resolved by Spiderman saving her life at the end? Third, what made the first two Spiderman movies fun was that Peter was a loveable loser, but his alter ego, Spiderman, was the hero of the city. In the third installment they tried to make him something he wasn’t. Since when does Peter get the most eligible bachelorette of New York? Fourth, when Spidey gets infected with the power of Venom, Tobey McGuire couldn’t pull off going from humble to arrogant. Messing up his hair and changing his clothes didn’t do it. Fifth, can Harry please quit whining about his father? Where does this undying devotion come from, when his father loved Peter more than him when he was alive? I don’t understand that. And can a few words from his butler change that feeling? Sixth, is Topher Grace really the best candidate to play venom? Seventh, Kirsten Dunst can’t sing. In fact, she didn’t even look very cute this time around. I could go on. They tried to pack way too much into this movie. The guy who plays the newspaper editor was funny and there was some cool computer made stuff, but it wasn’t enough to catch this flounder, but I guess those two things are enough to give it one star instead of none.

1 Star

PS - May I also add that I’m getting sick of sequels? I look forward to this summer’s lineup and see an endless barrage of them coming our way from the big studios, and cringe. It makes me happy that there are Indie films and the occasional rebel. That reminds me, I should probably write something about Tarentino’s latest film. I think I will.

Jiffy Lube

During halftime of a University of Utah basketball games this year, my friend and I competed in the Bungee Cord Challenge. The “game” is to make baskets at opposite ends of the basketball court. The “challenge” is having a bungee cord tied around your torso that is attached at the opposite end to your friend’s torso. And the “prestige” is starting at mid court and running in opposite directions at the start. I remember it well. After running to a spot just inside the 3-point line I threw up a shot that rattled around the rim for a moment. And just as I saw it fall through the hoop I felt a force pulling me backwards through the air. It wasn’t a surprise to me that I would lose this battle of physics, since my friend outweighs me by a spare tire, but I was somewhat startled to realize that by the time I stopped sliding I would end up somewhere near Rose Park. As it turns out, Swoop, the team mascot, was pulling at my friend’s back as well, so he was also only able to make one shot before the time expired. We tied. Our prizes were a free oil change at Jiffy Lube and the cheers and applause of the crowd.

It took me a few months to get around to using my free coupon, not because my car didn’t need its oil changed (I can drive 3,000 miles in a few weeks), but because it was lost somewhere under my seat and I forgot about it. It wasn’t until I was fishing under my seat for something else, probably my Ipod or an order of cheese fries, that I remembered I had it. The next Saturday I took my car to Jiffy Lube and, with a grin from ear to ear, I handed over my keys and coupon for my free oil change. After the technician hooked my car up to his machine to check the fluids and the hum of the engine, he brought me out and told me of a myriad of things that were wrong with it. He cross sold me on four of them before I told him that that was enough and that I would get the rest next time. My smile was long gone by this time as I realized my free oil change was costing me $160.

Well, today I took myself into the doctor for a checkup. They say you should change the oil on your car every 3,000 miles. I don’t know what the number is on a human being, but I figured 10 years was far over due. The nurses checked my fluids, hooked me up to a machine to listen to my heart, and took an X-ray of my chest. And later, as my physician was literally pointing out my organs to me, I realized how much more I would rather have the oil checked on my car than on myself. But as he sat me down before I left, I was happy that he didn’t have to cross sell me on any further products and that he was able to give me a clean bill of health. In fact, he seamed rather surprised to tell me that my EKG pattern looked similar to that of a marathon runner. I was pretty surprised myself, considering I spend most of my time playing around on my computer, watching DVD’s, or eating Moose Tracks ice cream. Sometimes I do all three at the same time. I gave some of my blood to the lab on my way out, and drove to work with a smile from ear to ear, hoping that my blood results would come back with good marks as well.

I’ve never driven anything but a lemon, but I feel extremely lucky and overly blessed to have a smoothly operating body. If I had to pick, I’d pick the latter any day. Flying backwards through the air with flailing hands and feet to the laughter of 10,000 people is a riot. I can’t imagine the disappointment of having to watch it on TV from a hospital bed.