Death Proof

Death Proof is the latest installment from Quentin Tarentino, a writer/director who is often known simply by his last name, not because he asked for it, but because saying his full name too often is somehow considered a sign of disrespect in the movie making arena. Perhaps he is the inspiration for A.K. Rawling’s Wizarding World’s Fear of saying Voldemort’s name out loud. Tarentino’s new movie is a creative and original idea that completely comes out of left field to blindside you with movie going satisfaction. In a time of third and fourth chapters of tired sequels, this movie was down right fun. It’s about a killer played by Kurt Russell who uses the ultimate weapon in his work, his car. How cool!

The first part of the movie is classic Tarentino dialogue, so sharp and witty that you want to laugh and discuss each line with your friends the moment it ends, but that you don’t for fear of missing the artistry of the next. The kind that seems to go on forever, but when it’s over still leaves you wanting for more. When movies so often change camera angles fast enough to make me motion sick, its fun to see a movie that has entire scenes filmed on one roll in a single take.

The second part of the movie shows the killer in action. Although what follows were extraordinarily mind-boggling car chases, stunts, and wrecks, it doesn’t seem like you are watching a movie stunt, but actual collisions on the interstate on your way home from work. It was all very “edge of your seat”, “white knuckles” type of stuff. I’m still scratching my head wondering if it was all for real or just another computer comb over. Either way, it all seemed really real, which made it all the better. Reacting together with the audience to every crunch of steel, peel-out of rubber in loose gravel, dead end road, head-on collision, T-bone collision, and rev of the engine was uncontrollable. Having a girl lie on the hood of one of the cars for half of one of the chases trying not to get thrown off is icing on the cake. Sprinkle in some hilarious lines and pack it together like a snowball in winter and you’re left holding the greatest car chase in movie making history.

Bravo, he-who-must-not-be-named, bravo!

4 Stars

Spiderman 3

It’s hard to write a review on a movie you didn’t like, but here it goes. I watched Spiderman 3 about a week ago and I didn’t like it. In fact, I spent most of the movie watching the clock, waiting for the time to get out of there. “Blah”, was about the only thing I could think to write on my blog about the show, so I wasn’t going to write anything. However, the other night I was watching Inside the NBA and Charles Barkley bagged on the movie and cracked on America for spending $400 Million plus to go watch it. I laughed and then I agreed. (Charles Barkley is one of two people who can make me laugh every time I see them on TV. The other: David Letterman.) And then the other day my brother asked me if I had written any movie reviews on my blog lately. So, with the request of my bro and a similar opinion to my own from Charles Barkley, I thought I’d crack on Spiderman 3 so that I would have something to post.

I don’t think there was a specific thing that made this movie bad, but a combination of a lot of things. First, it’s hard to cram three villains into one movie and still be able to develop all of their characters. All three villains were great ideas, but they should have just picked one. They fell into the Batman trap following the first two movies of that series. Second, is it really believable to go through the whole show watching Peter and MJ have relationship problems and have all those problems resolved by Spiderman saving her life at the end? Third, what made the first two Spiderman movies fun was that Peter was a loveable loser, but his alter ego, Spiderman, was the hero of the city. In the third installment they tried to make him something he wasn’t. Since when does Peter get the most eligible bachelorette of New York? Fourth, when Spidey gets infected with the power of Venom, Tobey McGuire couldn’t pull off going from humble to arrogant. Messing up his hair and changing his clothes didn’t do it. Fifth, can Harry please quit whining about his father? Where does this undying devotion come from, when his father loved Peter more than him when he was alive? I don’t understand that. And can a few words from his butler change that feeling? Sixth, is Topher Grace really the best candidate to play venom? Seventh, Kirsten Dunst can’t sing. In fact, she didn’t even look very cute this time around. I could go on. They tried to pack way too much into this movie. The guy who plays the newspaper editor was funny and there was some cool computer made stuff, but it wasn’t enough to catch this flounder, but I guess those two things are enough to give it one star instead of none.

1 Star

PS - May I also add that I’m getting sick of sequels? I look forward to this summer’s lineup and see an endless barrage of them coming our way from the big studios, and cringe. It makes me happy that there are Indie films and the occasional rebel. That reminds me, I should probably write something about Tarentino’s latest film. I think I will.

Jiffy Lube

During halftime of a University of Utah basketball games this year, my friend and I competed in the Bungee Cord Challenge. The “game” is to make baskets at opposite ends of the basketball court. The “challenge” is having a bungee cord tied around your torso that is attached at the opposite end to your friend’s torso. And the “prestige” is starting at mid court and running in opposite directions at the start. I remember it well. After running to a spot just inside the 3-point line I threw up a shot that rattled around the rim for a moment. And just as I saw it fall through the hoop I felt a force pulling me backwards through the air. It wasn’t a surprise to me that I would lose this battle of physics, since my friend outweighs me by a spare tire, but I was somewhat startled to realize that by the time I stopped sliding I would end up somewhere near Rose Park. As it turns out, Swoop, the team mascot, was pulling at my friend’s back as well, so he was also only able to make one shot before the time expired. We tied. Our prizes were a free oil change at Jiffy Lube and the cheers and applause of the crowd.

It took me a few months to get around to using my free coupon, not because my car didn’t need its oil changed (I can drive 3,000 miles in a few weeks), but because it was lost somewhere under my seat and I forgot about it. It wasn’t until I was fishing under my seat for something else, probably my Ipod or an order of cheese fries, that I remembered I had it. The next Saturday I took my car to Jiffy Lube and, with a grin from ear to ear, I handed over my keys and coupon for my free oil change. After the technician hooked my car up to his machine to check the fluids and the hum of the engine, he brought me out and told me of a myriad of things that were wrong with it. He cross sold me on four of them before I told him that that was enough and that I would get the rest next time. My smile was long gone by this time as I realized my free oil change was costing me $160.

Well, today I took myself into the doctor for a checkup. They say you should change the oil on your car every 3,000 miles. I don’t know what the number is on a human being, but I figured 10 years was far over due. The nurses checked my fluids, hooked me up to a machine to listen to my heart, and took an X-ray of my chest. And later, as my physician was literally pointing out my organs to me, I realized how much more I would rather have the oil checked on my car than on myself. But as he sat me down before I left, I was happy that he didn’t have to cross sell me on any further products and that he was able to give me a clean bill of health. In fact, he seamed rather surprised to tell me that my EKG pattern looked similar to that of a marathon runner. I was pretty surprised myself, considering I spend most of my time playing around on my computer, watching DVD’s, or eating Moose Tracks ice cream. Sometimes I do all three at the same time. I gave some of my blood to the lab on my way out, and drove to work with a smile from ear to ear, hoping that my blood results would come back with good marks as well.

I’ve never driven anything but a lemon, but I feel extremely lucky and overly blessed to have a smoothly operating body. If I had to pick, I’d pick the latter any day. Flying backwards through the air with flailing hands and feet to the laughter of 10,000 people is a riot. I can’t imagine the disappointment of having to watch it on TV from a hospital bed.

Blades of Glory

As guys, we've all experienced that moment where you are hanging out with the guys and suddenly realize that you've done something completely gay. And in the awkward moments that follow, and the inability to make it go away by ignoring it, there is the inevitable heterosexual act to throw it back into equilibrium. Generally, that act is something a caveman would do, like crush a beer can on one's forehead or startle the local seismic center by having the loudest release of flatulence. If you're a guy, you know exactly what I mean, and if you're a girl, you'll just have to trust me. Unfortunately, if you're the one doing the act, it is highly embarrasing; but on the other hand, if you're not the one doing the act, it is extremely humorous.

Blades of Glory is the story of rival male figure skaters played by Will Ferrell and John Heder. These two skaters are banned from the sport after fighting during the medal ceremony in which they tied for the gold medal. The only loophole they see to get themselves back into the sport is to compete in pairs figure skating. And the only partners they can find to compete with, is each other. What follows are moment lined up after moment of the awkward gay slip up and the heterosexual echo as described earlier, with a few moments of first date awkwardness and gross out comedy thrown in for good measure. For those of us not involved, as always, it was awfully funny. (Pun intended.)

I won't ruin the movie by trying to describe any of these moments, because the shock value is half the fun. Just know that at the end of the show you'll feel like you were a bagger at the grocery store, who has spent the past two hours catching cans, bags, and packages of gay/hetero. And as you walk to the car with your mind full of images of Will Ferrel both in, and out, of sequin laden spandex, you may wonder if you should go watch Die Hard to make up for seeing it.

3 Stars

Reign Over Me

Reign Over Me is the story of Charlie Fineman (Adam Sandler), who’s entire family was killed on one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center during the terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001. Expectedly, the incident breaks the man's heart and he has several mental problems because of this. The story is told from the perspective of Alan Johnson (Don Cheadle) who was Charlie’s roommate in dental school, and who hadn’t seen Charlie for several years and only heard of his tragedy through the media. Since dental school, Johnson (as he is referred to by his last name throughout the movie) had built a highly successful practice, while Charlie quits his after the crash. One day during his evening commute, Johnson happens to run into Charlie and reacquaints and befriends himself with Charlie and eventually gets him help.

There is an underlying story to the movie that these two men both have issues and that through their friendship, they are able to find their way through them together. Although Charlie’s problems are worn on his sleeve for the world to see, Johnson is successful in hiding his problems from everyone accept a psychiatrist that works in his building, who he waits at the curb for each night to ask advice. He has a wonderful life and loves his wife and daughters; however, he has been estranged by his partners because of some work issues, and has no friends outside of work and home. He longs for the chance to just have some “time with the guys” and just a bit of “space”. Hanging out with Charlie fills this need, and somewhat unexpectedly, Charlie also gives Johnson the courage to open up to his wife and confront his partners.

I don’t know if it was by design or just that I didn’t catch on at first, but there seemed to be a subtle shift of perception as the movie progressed. It was this shift that was the highlight of the show for me. I love it when movies do that. At the beginning of the show, Charlie seemed to be straight up crazy. But as you learned his story and understood more about him, you realized that he was in fact just extremely broken hearted. Whereas all those around him were confused and lost, Charlie knew exactly what he wanted and was coping with having lost his dream. As those around him began to realize this about Charlie, they too began to look inward to understand what they too wanted, and they began to wonder if it wasn’t in fact they themselves who were crazy and that Charlie was the sane one.

I thought that the movie was fairly sad for the majority of the time, but at the end I came away feeling that Charlie was very lucky. He knew exactly what he wanted and had achieved it, and although he lost it all, he at least had it for a while, which is more than most other people can say. That sense of accomplishment for Charlie, and the friendship formed between Charlie and Johnson are the strengths of this movie. It was somewhat saddening, dragged in some parts, and took on a difficult task with the subject matter, but overall it was an enjoyable show.

3 stars

300 the Movie

The movie 300 tells the tale of a force of 300 Spartan warriors who held off an innumerable army of Persians in the bottle neck of a canyon. By fighting within the bottle neck, the Spartans were able to negate being outnumbered so that they could take on a force of equal size, although the force they take on is replenished over and over again. Spartans, being trained in war since before they could walk, are the greatest warriors in the world and are held to the strictest of codes to never fear and to never surrender. For days they are able to hold back the Persians with little to no losses. Despite armies of trolls, rhinos, elephants, grenadiers, and even an army of masked orcs, the Spartans never bend. Even behind an army of millions, the Persian king attempts to bribe the king of the Spartans into surrending to which the King, of course, scoffs. It isn't until a fellow Greek betrays the Spartans and shows the Persians a hidden goat path, that the Persians are able to surround the tiny band of Spartans and win.

The movie 300 is completely a "guy movie", and yes, I loved it. What guy doesn't like to imagine himself as being King, having a chiseled body, getting the girl, and being practically invincible. I've often dreamed of myself playing basketball with skills comparable to wonder boy and it was fun to watch army after army fall upon this group of Spartans and be defeated just like logs thrown into a wood chipper. And I almost stood up and cheered when I saw a single Spartan take down a giant rhino with a single toss of a javeline. Shibby!

But what I liked most about this show was the idea of honor and virtue that was held by the Spartans. It wasn't victory or defeat that brought a Spartan honor, but living by their code win or lose. For instance, when the Queen says goodbye to her husband, she says "King, come back to me with your shield, or on it". She didn't want to see him again, unless it was in honor. The King, on the other hand, just before death had several of these moments. The first was when he addresses the betrayer and says, "You, I hope you live forever". He was sentencing him to a life of shame, rather than exacting revenge upon him through death to let him off easy. Or during the greatest moment of the King's life, when he throws a javeline at the King of the Persians and only grazes his cheek rather than killing him, just to remind the Persian King that he was dying with glory on the battlefield, while the Persian King was hiding behind several layers of army. It reminds me that the only failures in life, are those who fail to try. But the best was when the King stands, severelly wounded, and says, just before a thunderstorm of arrows falls upon him and kills him, "My Queen, my love". Although he had reached what was considered the greatest personal honor a Spartan could achieve, his final thoughts were not inward, but focused on what he held most dear. A real man isn't what he is able to physically accomplish on the battlefields of war, but what he is able to give and who he is able to serve on the battle fields of life.

A quote, by Theodore Roosevelt, because it seems to fit: "It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

4 Stars

Into the Wild

I recently went to Hawaii on vacation and since I knew that I had a long flight to make it through I took along a book, one skinny enough that I could finish it on the plane. The book I took was "Into the Wild". What a great and tragic story! This tale depicts the journey of a young man named Chris McCandless that upon graduating from college decided to leave the human society and live in a large part by himself in the wilderness. On occasion he would return and make friends and socialize with them, but for the most part he spent a couple of years alone. His journeying took him down the Colorado River in a canoe, into the northern plains to harvest sunflowers, up and down the west coast, but primarily he spent his time in the desert of the southwest. What he planed to be his biggest and last adventure, living off the land in the wilds of Alaska, turned out to be his finale as he perished of starvation.

What I liked most about this book was the description of the male's inherent desire to "rage against the machine" so to speak. The desire to turn our backs on what so often seems like a constraining society of eight-to-five, work five days to get two, suburbia nightmare. I myself have often had this same desire and thought I was alone in that until I read this book. There was a certain satisfaction in reading this and knowing that I am not the only one who gets an overwhelming urge to burn all the money in my wallet just because whoever made up money sucks, or that gets an overwhelming feeling to throw up every time I enter a mall. I believe it is that same male instinct that makes a certain scene in Good Will Hunting one of my favorite scenes of all cinema. It was when Matt Damon's character is talking with Robin Williams' and he says, "my dad used to come home and put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the table and would have me choose one". Robin Williams' character responds and says, "Oh, I'd have to go with the belt". Matt Damon's character responds, "Nah, I would choose the wrench". "Why?" "Because, @%^& him! That's why." I so get it! And I so get why Chris McCandless said the same thing to society.

It didn't help that I read this book on my way to Hawaii, a wonderfully warm, green, inviting area. And that to get to our hotel we had to drive along the western coast of Oahu where all of the homeless and vagabond camp and live. I admit that reading this book, and seeing such a wonderful area such as Hawaii, made me want to get out of the car and join the ranks of those people who were living in tents. The urge that always gnaws at me.

A few days ago I returned from Hawaii. While in Hawaii I found a necklace on the north shore that I put on our first day there, and I hadn't shaved the entire time. I must say, it took me most of that day to tell myself to shave and to remove the necklace. Much like a child who won't go to bed, I didn't want to fully come back to my routine. But I gave in, shaved, and took off the necklace. I am now fully back. This morning I woke up in a nice bed, had a hot shower, drove my car up to Park City, and moved into a newly remodeled office. And as I was scarfing down a plate of Mexican food at the restaurant kiddy corner from my office, I realized that: Society, although binding in many ways, does have its privileges and that in order to have them, we males have to swallow some of our "Lord of the Flies" pride and submit. A big plate of Mexican food is much more appealing than starving to death. But that doesn't mean that those tents on the beach aren't still appealing as well.

Bridge to Terabithia

I saw this show in a matinee with my mom. We sat in the middle of a crowd of children who were all seeing how fast they could down a bag of popcorn in fear that their siblings might get a few pieces more than they would. I felt uncomfortable and was a bit biased against this movie before the lights even went out. Maybe it was because of this that I was pleasently surprised.

The best part of the show was the little blonde girl that played Natalie. She did a great job of acting and it was refreshing to know that there is a little blonde girl out there that can act, besides Dakota Fanning. Her magnetic personality made it real to miss her in the end. I have to admit, I spent most of the movie trying to remember what other movie I had seen her in and it wasn't until I was driving home that I remembered. She was the blue berry in the latest Chocolate Factory movie. There were two others in the show that kept making me think of past shows they had been in. The first was the substitute teacher, who was in one of my favorite movies ever (Almost Famous). I ended up watching it that night. And I kept expecting the father of the family to turn into the T1000 from Terminator 2. It would have been worth a few frames to see his finger turn into an iron spike.

Another good part of the show was the computer animation, or the lack thereof. Most movies overdue the computer animation, but this show did just enough to make us adults remember what it was like to play make believe as a child. It was a bit overdone in the final scene, but I can forgive the urge for a grand finale. Not only that, but I had similar places as the tree house in the forest where I played make believe when I was a kid and similar friends as the little blonde girl who would drag me into their made up worlds. This was one of those shows that takes you back to your childhood and I don't remember seeing one that did it this well since I watched Sandlot.

I went into the show expecting another movie trying to piggy back off of the Lord of the Rings success, such as Narnia, but it was actually pretty good. In a time of computer games, movies, and scooters that push themselves, its nice to remember what it was like to play make believe.

3 Stars

Ghostrider

Parodies are kind of funny sometimes, when the movie is meant to be a parody, but even most parodies are just dumb. What is even worse is when a movie is meant to be serious and it comes across as a parody. And what takes the cake is when the parody is made out of a story line with as cool of a premise as Ghost Rider.

The movie starts out okay. Ghost Rider was tricked into selling his soul to the devil when he was a teenager and was warned not to get too close to anyone or anything, because one day the devil would come calling. The boy Ghost Rider heeds his warning and leaves his girl friend and dead father who he thought the devil would save. And for a moment as he rides his motorcycle away from them in the rain you can almost feel his sadness. But flash forward to the adult Ghost Rider and we learn that he is living a rock and roll lifestyle as Johnny Blaze, the most successful stuntman of all time. And as beautiful women scream and reach for his attention, you can almost feel his depression as he drowns his sorrow in a cocktail glass of jelly beans. Please, give me a break. Whoever made this movie should have watched Constantine and The Punisher to learn how to depict depression, with John Constantine killing himself with cigarettes, and The Punisher doing the same with alcohol, both of whom live in complete isolation, not in the spot light of fame and fortune.

Sure enough, the devil then comes calling and starts to use and abuse Ghost Rider into being the devil's bounty hunter to hunt down the devil's own children while riding a bike with flaming tires and having a flaming skull for a head. What a sweet story line. It's really too bad it didn't come across that way. I mean seriously, how do you screw that one up? The first way is the devil himself, who didn't seem evil at all. Some computer animation and a growl doesn't make someone evil. The second is the devil's children, who likewise were pretty much a bunch of nancies, who weren't even as evil as Scorpion from Mortal Combat. Lastly, was Ghost Rider himself. Nicholas Cage is a great actor, but he was written and directed into feeling somewhat soft. Somehow a bunch of quirky one liners came across as being apologetic for being a hardass. If you want to be a badass, which is what the devil's bounty hunter should be, then just be one.

Having said all of that, I will most likely end up watching this movie again, because of Eva Mendez. She is unbelievably beautiful. This point would be an excellent time for a growl, rather than when the devil whispers to the young Ghost Rider. If you want to see a show that depicts evil, watch Constantine. If you want to see a show with a real hardass, watch the Punisher. If you want to see a beautiful girl, watch Eva Mendez in Ghost Rider.

1 Star